by Trey Humphreys

Hello friends. Tom here. Let’s talk about shots. Sure, they build camaraderie but they also cause blackouts, vomit and disgusting romantic encounters with bizarre humans. I wouldn’t know. I think shots should be against the law but who am I to make laws, a law maker? No. So, let’s discuss the worst shots of all time and then let’s take a look as some I created (in my head). I encourage you to buy one for all your friends this weekend.

10.  Cement Mixer – Bailey’s, lime juice


9.  Dead Man Walking – Absinthe, Goldschläger

dead man walking shot

8.  Gorilla Puke – 151 Bacardi, Wild Turkey Whisky

gorilla puke shot

7. Tapeworm – Pinnacle Vodka, Tabasco and warm mayonnaise

6. New Jersey Turnpike – Bar mat juice or bar rag juice

new jersey turkpike shot

4. Liquid Steak – Rum and worchesirire sauce


3. Burned Dead – Pinnacle Vodka, Hot Mustard, Sauerkraut juice

burned dead shot

2. Infected Whitehead – Vodka, bloody Mary mix and cottage cheese


1. Smokers Cough – Warm Mayonnaise and Jägermeister

smokers cough shot

I thought I would come up with a few since we have a few more moments.  Here are my suggestions to add to the list ….

Your Great Aunt –  Cookie Dough flavored Pinnacle Vodka, Back sweat, white rain hair spray

Homosexual Opossum – Well tequila, Bacardi 151, dollop Colgate toothpaste, flax seed

Gin & Puke – Cheesecake flavored Gin, mascara, peach schnapps, oregano and braised kale

The Dirty Critter – Jägermeister, buttermilk, B.C. powder, hamster droppings

Crossfit Females – Pinnacle Vodka, raw salmon, creatine, eggnog, chalk

Dolphin Sneeze – moonshine & tuna salad

Joel Darby  – Jack Daniels, peanut butter, White Zinfandel, ground pickle

Feet Juice – Beer, Prell shampoo, duck fat

Well, there you go.   I am never drinking again.  Well, maybe.

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