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Ticket Price Increase Next Tuesday. THANKS OBAMA.

Ticket Price Increase Next Tuesday. THANKS OBAMA.

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January 29th, 2015

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We apologize, but are forced by the laws of nature to increase ticket prices next Tuesday due to higher than usual ticket sales. You see, math whizzes, we are only allowed to sell a certain amount of pre-sale tickets due to space constraints at Piedmont Park. Ergo, we cannot sell all the tickets at welfare levels ($13) forever or we don’t make money and God knows we love money. Jennifer wants to retire in a duplex one day and John John has his eyes on a Honda Civic lease. I’m focused on a used oriental rug next year. The only way to accomplish these milestones is to make money. The point is get your tickets while they are less expensive than most pet store fresh water fish.

CURRENT TICKET PRICE: $13.00

TICKET PRICE AFTER 12PM FEB 2ND: $18.00

THINGS YOU CAN BUY IF YOU SAVE $5:

  • live hamster
  • small burnt coffee at Starbucks
  • Half of a free range grass feed sustainable egg at whole foods
  • 38 pairs of socks on Buford Highway
  • a cute pink duster from Target
  • can of Four Loco
  • pair of shoe strings

TICKETS FOOL

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