…you had a boyfriend, that looked like a girlfriend.
Call me old-fashioned, or just plain old, but I really love gender-specific roles. I love being a girl and having doors opened for me, and as much as it raises a few eyebrows, I actually love not having to call the shots and being told what to do when I’m in a relationship..it’s very relaxing, and I am too indecisive to pick the place to eat (no problems however telling you will NOT be taking me), and I love that my time with my friends is very much MINE. It has to be mine because guys don’t give a shit what girls chat about, they don’t care about who’s zoomin who and who wore what to what party and blah blah…most heterosexual men would rather be water boarded that listen to lady garb gossip..or at least they should. Part of what makes men so sexy to me is that there is so much of them that is nothing like my girlfriends. I get something completely different from both scenarios…night with a guy vs night with the girls- polar opposites..keeps life balanced. However, Every now and then the two paths cross, and a man will get stuck with my friends and listen to our banter…literally listening, it’s all the man can do…no opinion allowed…really. Even if you are asked to comment, don’t..you will be wrong. More importantly, do not EVER repeat what you hear…once you have broken this cardinal rule..you are a woman. A Chaka Khan listenin, vodka slammin, pantie dancin, period havin WOMAN. Man gosspiers are the most unattractive of the male species, because they possibly have the “She-mone” hormone (not the Michael Jackson slogan). Let the he said/she said be our thing, our man-interpreted flaw that is trademark to the vagina. Many men think of a woman’s purse as a dark layer of secrets..an African safari of foreign objects…just wouldn’t go there, apply this same theory to our girl/girl relationships..stay out of that shit. I get that we are ridiculous..I get that you don’t get us, but as much as you hate to admit it..you love women because you get from us (besides the obvious) what you don’t get from your boys. Unless you like girls who are boys, who like boys to be girls, who do boys like they’re girls, who do boys like they’re boys;) Which if that’s the case, cwall me honey for cwauffee twalk..we’d love to have another girlfriend.
“Women do not snore, fart, or belch; therefore, they must bitch or else they will blow up.”