By Jessica Collins

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Many have asked me why I’m quitting a baller job in corporate-America to flee the country and live internationally in a city I’ve never been to doing something I know nothing about. No, I’m not running from a guy. My FIL (see below) is almost clear. No, I’m not trying to find myself. After a near-death car wreck that lead to a full blood transfusion, you, quite literally, get a fresh start. I’m definitely “found” and have been for a while.

I’m going because I want to explore the other side of the world for more than two weeks at a time. Plus, I really like Thailand. And, I’m pretty sure I owe a stripper at “Super Pussy” a rematch from our last Ping-Pong game.

But, rather than drop everything I’m doing and run away fugitive-style, I did make preparations prior to my departure. These are my top 5 “must-do’s” before you get a wild hair in your ass to do something similar.

5.  Eat Pizza Hut every day. Seriously. When you’re going to a remote town in Northern Thailand where most of the cuisine is street vendors frying up tarantulas, you better get your fill of whatever American food you want… Taco Bell, Steak ‘n Shake, Zaxby’s. For me, I love a good personal pan pizza when I’m hungover. The grease. The cheese. Yes, to all of it.

I never eat fast food (Chick-fil-A doesn’t count) unless I’m drunk or hungover. My go-to is Pizza Hut. So, I’ve been eating it frequently. Am I consuming 6,000+ calories a day and making myself physically sick? Yes. But, I’m not worried about it considering I’ll probably have stomach issues the first few months in Thailand from Montezuma’s Revenge. My pizza-induced stomach ache will feel like a walk-in-the-park compared to what’s coming.

4. Get Botox. Having recently tuned 30 and been told that I have wrinkles, I decided I had to take care of those lines in my face ASAP. I do not know the healthcare “sitch” in Thailand, nor do I trust 3rd world doctors, who got their medical degree from Rice Farmer’s University. So, I’m not going to let them inject a chemical into my face that could make me look like one of those freaks from “Botched.” Instead, I chose to use a Groupon for a plastic surgeon in the states, who got their degree from DeVry.

3. Be a tourist in your home city. After 10 years of living in Atlanta, I have absolutely zero desire to tour CNN, drink shitty coke at the World of Coke, ride the ferris wheel, or climb through Underground Atlanta. But, now that I cannot do any of those things anytime I want, I’m doing all of it. I want to bask in the boring nonsense Atlanta has to offer because there’s a very small chance I might actually miss this place.

2. Stock-up on the necessities. If there’s something in America you cannot live without (something small, like Chapstick – not a mattress), then you better stock up. There’s this zit-cream that I cannot live with out. No clue if I’ll be able to find it in Thailand, so I cleaned out every CVS within a 5-mile radius of my house to take it with me. No one wants to look like a prepubescent, pimply teen in another country because they cannot find good skin-care products… AMIRITE?

And, you’re going to need to stockpile your daily medications. Primarily, birth control and Adderall. No one is trying to reproduce a local anytime soon, and Adderall because… it’s Adderall.

1. Finally, the MOST important thing is your Fuck-It List (FIL). Not to be confused with “bucket” list. Everyone has those local guys or gals they want to bang… either for the first time or for the millionth time. If you’re moving internationally, you may never see that potential slam piece again. So, a FIL is mandatory. It’s easy and the rules are simple. Just tell him/her/them that they’re on the list, set a time and date, then slam until your heart’s content. Your time is limited. Your list should not be. You could never see each other again. Your plane could go down over the Pacific. You NEED to slam while you have the chance. So, satisfy your libido stateside, then get the hell out of dodge.

Bonus:  Learn the language. Do I speak Thai? Nope. Should I try and learn Thai? Probably. But, I’m banking on my “winging-it” plan being effective.

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  339. Si el electrodoméstico no fuera reparable por una causa justificada, por ejemplo, por falta de piezas de repuesto, el cliente tendrá derecho a recibir el Pago de Sustitución por reparación inviable según los importes establecidos a continuación, descontando el coste de las posibles reparaciones ya realizadas en el mismo periodo contractual anual. Duración del Servicio: la duración del presente servicio será la establecida para el contrato de suministro de Energía, electricidad gas natural, con Iberdrola de la vivienda del Cliente. Si está cerrado se ilumina significa que usted se encuentra en una página segura.

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  348. En Proto Labs, tenemos equipo para impresión 3D y mecanizado CNC, por lo que solemos combinar ambas tecnologías para producir prototipos y modelos, para los resultados provisionales necesarios para las pruebas de rendimiento. Desde nuestro centro de mecanizado realizamos todo tipo de piezas, para las industrias del automóvil, ferroviaria, naval, hidráulica, fabricantes de maquinaria y muchas más.

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  350. Solamente en la provincia de Sevilla existen más de 100 empresas que centran su actividad en el mecanizado de piezas y que dan empleo a unos 8000 trabajadores. Sierra cnc: Esta se utiliza para realizar cortes de gran precisión y exactitud. El mecanizado CNC es un proceso de fabricación que utiliza modelos CAD en 3D para generar comandos para que la máquina herramienta pueda crear una pieza mecanizada acabada.

  351. El calor afecta a nuestros electrodomésticos tanto como a nosotros no olvide hacerle una revisión una vez al año antes de la temporada de calor, cuando las empresas de reparacion electrodomesticos están más descargadas de trabajo y pueden atenderle con mayor eficacia y rapidez. Las empresas de reparacion de electrodomesticos de Madrid suelen estar saturadas en las temporadas de calor, y más aun en la temporada de calor de este año, por lo que en la medida de lo posible intente revisar sus electrodomésticos en primavera en otoño cuando menos trabajo de reparación tienen los técnicos más baratos son los precios.

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  354. Como empresa de mecanizado por arranque de viruta, ponemos a su disposición un taller de mecanizado con un amplio parque de maquinaria CNC, capaz de atender fabricaciones en serie de componentes mecánicos de alta complejidad y elevada precisión. Nuestra empresa cuenta con personal cualificado para realizar los trabajos del cliente.

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  360. En el taller industrial Floper también realizamos trabajos de decoletaje de precisión para todo tipo de piezas especiales, sean cuales fueren, también mecanizadas en serie. En nuestro taller de mecanizado, la tecnología de la que disponemos es capaz de realizar cortes con arranque de viruta para obtener las piezas previamente diseñadas.

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  365. Nuestra tecnología simultánea de 5 ejes amplía los límites sobre los tipos de geometrías de las piezas a mecanizar. Mecanizado de piezas en aluminio de diferentes calidades como el 2011, 2030, 5083, 6082, 7075, etc. Y es que ofrecemos las prestaciones y garantías incomparables que nos otorgan los más de 80 años de experiencia que acumula nuestra empresa en este sector de la fabricación de piezas.

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  370. Mecanizados Díaz & Díaz cuenta con un equipo, muy competente y experimentado que estará dispuesto en todo momento a asesorarle a fondo. TOTAL PLANNING, S.L. se especializa en el mecanizado de series cortas y medianas, con capacidad de realizar prototipos, piezas únicas y utillajes.

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