by Jennifer

It’s October again. I have not gotten pregnant yet, so I can’t wear the Wrecking Ball costume and we did a $h!tty job of pulling off the Lawrence Welk “Small Hands” getup last year SO … back to the drawing board. I thought I’d share a few finds from my Pinterest Board to light a fire under your ass (LITERALLY). Steal these ideas because we don’t want boring costumes at our party (or anywhere). Murder Kroger, Donald Trump, Baton Bob, Big Chicken, Ponce City Market, Atlantic Station, Dollywood, Cracker Barrel…WHAT WILL YOU BE?! Try these. Or be a laser cat.

Barbie Ken Best Couples Costume
Over-achiever? if so whip this job up and make sure it has a cup holder inside so you can focus on booze.
Bob Ross
Mad at your boyfriend? Make him the painting and get ready to scrub off mustache glue for the rest of your life.
Jenner Caitlyn Costume
Bruce Jenner / Caitlyn? Add camel toe, gold metals and weird fake tattoo that nobody knows about and you are set. Have a friend be your son-in-law, Kayne West.
Miley Cyrus VMA Costume
Any one of the thousand or so Miley VMA costumes will do. Guys and girls can pull this off. (P.S. Is Miley pulling a Rachel Dolezal with that hair? I’m still confused.)
Gods Gift to Men Halloween Costume
Do you love selfies? Do you think you are real pretty? Well, if so be this and add one of those giant beer holding hulk hands for good measure. No idea why.
Orange Is The New Black
“Orange is the New Black” – good group costume especially if your friends are real convicts. Make sure to sneak in cigarettes and contraband to the party.
Golden Girls Group Costume
Golden Girls (or just old ladies) – great group costume and pretty amusing if you can dance like a boss. There is nothing better than old ladies dancing.
american gladiator couples costume
American Gladiators will forever be cool. Make sure your prop is lightweight so you can hold a Bud Light in one hand (and crush your friends every 14 minutes).
Punny couples costumes are fun (when you can put 2+2 together). Can you guess what this one is? Hawaiian Punch.
Punny couples costumes are fun (when you are sober enough to get it). Hawaiian Punch. We had no idea either.
Mr. Clean! Why didn’t I think of this when I was bald? Bull$h!t.
Emoji Dancers
Kate Thacker and Tucker Berta … or any of the other 8 billion emojis my husband uses 12,000 times a day. ❤️💁
Deer in Headlights Best Couples Halloween Costumes
Deer in Headlights: Cute and Comfortable. Plus you can add red nose for Rudolph in a few months.
Do not.
Do not. Not even kidding. Seems like a good idea. Do not. You are welcome.
Roller Coaster Group
Seriously you guys, when is the next parade in Atlanta? Done.
Paper Rock Scissors
Good idea for a party of Three: Paper Rock Scissors. However, nothing sexy about the rock. Just saying….
Never Ending Story Halloween Costume
CALL MY NAME! Add a dumb cat t-shirt and you are good.
Joel Goodson Risky Business Best Halloween Costume 2015
Cute, easy, great reference, gets my vote.
Juno Couples Halloween Costume
For the ultimate hipster couple.
Jim Carrey
Ace Ventura was the greatest movie ever made and I just wanted you to know that…carry on.
Highlights Photo 80s Halloween Costume
Please make your backdrop wide enough for your friends to take selfies (and add headgear).
California Raisin Halloween Costume
Holy amazing California Raisin. Crack me up!
Grumpy Cat Halloween Costume
Easy & kind of normal/can still get chicks.

P.S. Note to Pun Costumers: Make sure your friends can figure out why you are dribbling around in a basketball uniform with a doughnut around your waist. Just sayin.

Ok. I think there is a slight/large chance that there are a few folks reading who have done 1 to 3 of the following things:

  • Came to our first Halloween BOOnanza Party.
  • Have since had a baby.
  • Still read this fugging blog.

Babies can’t come to our party (they can’t even talk). However. I would like to take this opportunity to encourage you to amuse your friends before said child gets sucked in by the fairy princesses. Here are some ideas:

Set high goals by making your kid an Abercrombie bag model.
Promote self-esteem by making your kid an Abercrombie bag model.
Add an overly loud boombox and your child can be Red Pepper Taqueria.
Add a loud boombox playing club music and WHAM: your baby is Red Pepper Taqueria.
Make Halloween educational by teaching your baby how to walk.
Teach your baby to walk itself this Halloween.
Your baby can literally be Carlos for Halloween.
Get inspired by Carlos.
This baby needs to shave.
This baby needs a pack of cigarettes and bottle of booze.
Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters
Got a fat baby? Proud of it?

Mmmmkay enough comedian babies, back to Halloween as an adult (if that’s what we’re calling it). I will leave you with two scaries:

Ben Candice Scary Clown
If you want follow my bestie’s decision to go for SCARY AF, just buy one pair of white contacts to share.
Or the American Horror Story Nun, holy crap.
Stay TF away from me at the party if you are the American Horror Story Nun (and don’t make out with randoms).

And finally, I suspect there will be a few ballsy folks out there who will push the envelope like these two. They look familiar. We’re going to hell.

Cecil Dentist Halloween Costume Best 2015

Thanks for playing. Follow my Pinterest board for more ideas!

66 thoughts on “Halloween Costume Forecast

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