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Love is in the air. Well, not really “in” the air. Whatever. So, I decided to probe a couple of attractive Atlanta singles about love, dating and what the f is wrong with dudes and chicks in this town. I decided to reach out to the experts. I used the word expert loosely. However, these two freaks get hit on by the bus load and are terribly more attractive than I am. Here is everything you need to know about love in Atlanta. I decided to interview Tribble Reese, our home town hero and local reality star(ish)(ISH). He has muscles and great hair, so take heed to these words of unwisdom:

1) What is the worst valentine’s day present a girl could give you?
Flowers. What does a dude do with flowers? I can’t complain though because they were from my Mom…

2) Where is the most romantic place in Atlanta?
This may sound weird, but Oakland Cemetery. I went on a Valentine’s Day tour they did a couple years ago and it’s amazing how romantic they make the stories. Plus in a sick way, I think death is romantic in itself. Romeo and Juliet is my favorite Shakespeare play; maybe because I played ole’ Romeo back in sophomore year of high school.

3) How many cats does a girl have to own before you won’t date her?
Cat people are…interesting. I’d say if they have more than 2, then I start to think “How does her room smell if she has more than 2 cats. Litter boxes can only do so much.”

4) What is the difference between a blond and a brunette girl?
In Atlanta? I’d say not much. These hairdressers are good at what they do and I don’t even know what is “natural” anymore, but most make it look good. Disclaimer: I have had some highlights done in the past 5 years…my boy Danny at Bob Steele Salon suggested it. Ain’t too proud.

5) If you had to give a girl a dog, what kind would you choose?
A golden doodle puppy. I dont think it gets any cuter than that.

6) What percent of girls do you think watch porn?
Surprisingly high. I’d say 85%. And the ones who say they don’t, are lying or haven’t heard of the internet.

7) Best pick up line a girl has ever given you?
“Good news! The test results are negative!”

8) If you could only spend $10.50 on a Valentine’s day gift for a girl you have been dating for 3 months, what would you buy?
A tape recorder so I could record a love song for her.

9) How many times have you been in love?
Twice. Well 2.5.

10) Really, how many times have you been in love?
Ok I’m a hopeless romantic and pretty much fall for anyone that shows me any kind of attention or affection…or likes my selfies.

11) Rank the last girl you kissed on a scale of 1 – 10 (1 being horrific)?
8, great rhythm.

12) Best place to meet single girls in Atlanta?
Irby Avenue. Mainly in the street around 2 AM on a Friday night when you are crossing from Pool Hall to 5 Paces. The pool to choose from is high, and their expectation level by that point in the night is low. But honestly, I would have to say Whole Foods at like 6 PM on any weekday night. Gold mine.

13) One piece of advice for single dudes in Atlanta?
Don’t try too hard. Girls get sick of games after awhile so just be honest.

14) One thing a girl should never say to a guy?
How much do you make? (In Atlanta, if you wait 5 minutes, they’ll tell you)

15) How much do you bench press?
Not enough. Weak chest.

16) Do you believe in Marriage?
Eventually…yes. I think people tend to “settle” before they are ready and it leads to unhappiness.

17) Who are you top 3 celebrity crushes?

  • Jennifer Anniston (She turned 45 today and still looks amazing)
  • Adriana Lima- (Plus I like that she saved herself for marriage like I am)
  • Shaun White- That chick is hot

18) What are southern girls doing wrong with guys?
See question #16. Too much settling and not enough looking for love on reality shows. The world needs more of that.

 

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