by Mike B

I drive a lot for my job.  On any given day, I could be in Columbus, Valdosta, Chattanooga–you name it.  So I get to see a lot of interesting things on the road.  A lot of frightening things, too.

Southerners have always gotten a bad rap for being stupid.  A lot of that reputation is undeserved…but some things are so blindingly retarded that they make your head spin.  Take what I saw the other day for instance:

A pretty lonely stretch of road.  Nothing remarkable about it, right?  Wrong.  Let’s take a little closer look, shall we?

Hmm…still the middle of nowhere.  You’re about as likely to pass a John Deere hauling a trailer full of horseshit as you are to pass another car.  But what’s with that sign?  Can we get closer?

Oh, sweet Jesus.  Are you kidding me?  THAT’S our high-tech corridor?

“Yessirree, it looks like we’ll have ourselves a telly-phone any day now.  Maybe even one of them newfangled horseless carriages.  They done brung us ‘lectricity a few months back, but Uncle Clem licked a live wire and blew one of his testicles off…so we don’t cotton to city shit like that no more.”

Out-of-staters must regularly shit themselves laughing.  Not only do we have the world’s lowest-tech high-tech corridor, but we posted shiny signs to remind everyone.  Our government should be proud.

Well, at least we’re smarter than Alabama.  I heard their high-tech corridor is the dirt road between Jimbo’s Catfish Hut and the Greater Anniston Creationist Museum and Live Bait Depot.