by Mike B

“Rapper’s Delight” — Sugar Hill Gang

I said a hip, hop
fifteen minutes have now passed
are we still rapping?

“O.P.P.” — Naughty by Nature

have you had sex with
someone else’s boy or girl?
totally the best

“The Humpty Dance” — Digital Underground

I know I look strange
but I get laid more than you.
so shut up.  let’s dance

“Straight Outta Compton” — N.W.A.

we’re from a bad ‘hood.
these are the ways we’ll kill you.
hey!  here are our names

“It Takes Two” — Rob Base and D.J. E-Z Rock

there are two of us
but we’ll mostly talk about
me.  poor E-Z Rock

“Gimme Dat Nut” — Eazy-E

dear lord, I’m horny
I will put it anywhere.
bet I don’t get AIDS

“Wild Thing” — Tone Loc

I’m also horny
I can have any woman.
look out!  prostitute

“Party Up” — DMX

you really suck hard
so much so, I should kill you.
man, the kid’s not yours

“Brass Monkey” — Beastie Boys

this drink’s my fav’rite
I will even use it when
I give strange girls drugs

“Rock Superstar” — Cypress Hill

fame is so fleeting
save your cash or you’ll wind up
as broke as Hammer

“Momma Said Knock You Out” — L.L. Cool J

I once talked ’bout love
but now everyone has guns
so now I’m gangster

“California Love” — 2Pac

Dre raps most of this
it’s my song, though.  no, really
California towns!
 

“Regulate” — Warren G. w/Nate Dogg

Warren G. gets jacked
Nate Dogg rescues his dumb ass
dude!  I found some whores