Well guess what? It’s my birthday and I decided it was imperative that I journey to Nepal and trek up into the Himalayan Mountains. Have I ever been hiking? No. Where better to start than the enormous and cold mountains of Nepal. I also figured the best age to start is 42. Common sense people.
Plus I’m looking for that eat, pray, love gal to see if she is ready for a relationship.
Now, let me briefly explain my exercise routine prior to coming to Nepal:
- jogging a hair over 2 miles once every couple of months, on average. Generally.
- Fitness level? Exceedingly high.
But first, I want to tell you folks some of the things I have learned about Katmandu, Nepal where I have spent the last few days.
11. It is a sprawling city of 800,000 people and has electricity. Most of the day. Or half of the day. Welcome to 2015.
10. There appears to be slightly over 25 billion feral dogs roaming everything. I assume the leash laws are relaxed.
9. You are not supposed to look the car-sized monkeys in the eyes. With this information, I tried it. Then I shit my pants when the beast lunged at me displaying his fantastic teeth.
8. Hindus have 33 million Gods. My broken English tour guide told me every single one of them as we strolled by 3 burning bodies at a large Hindu temple. I paid $10 for the tour. Can’t remember one God.
7. The cows are fairly dumb.
6. A man on the street asked me if I wanted any hash. I said no. Then the next 1600 men in the streets asked me if I wanted to buy hash. I bought a fake North Face jacket. There seems to be hash available if needed.
5. Honking solves nothing but does seem to be a fad over here.
4. They have bugs also.
3. There are no McDonald’s, Starbucks or Crossfit gyms. There are also no western sitting toilets. So un-awkward.
2. A Nepalese fellow explained to me that it would cost him 20k to come to America. The Nepal government will not issue Visas to Nepal citizens to come to the U.S. (For the most part). I told him to count his blessings because Mississippi sucks.
1. The people of Nepal are possibly the nicest, most honest people I have met in 20 years of travel. That is a fact.
I recommend that everyone put this amazing place on their bucket list. Now, off to the mountains with a shitty, fake North Face jacket and a box of wet wipes.